Friday, August 15, 2008
Ire
Today is a perfect blog day. Got cheated thrice by auto-drivers since morning. I dint exactly enjoy a movie that I watched. You probably have heard of "You reap what you sow". I'm not exactly a fan of this statement in this frame of mind. I am not even brave enough to say that I'd punch the bastard who said this if he ever turns up. Well, I am brave enough to say it but not brave enough to do it. So why lie? When you get back shit from people for doing no shit yourself, you begin to realize that the world is not a fair place and that you don't deserve to be good anymore. Most of my anger today is aimed at Auto drivers because I got cheated of nearly 80 bucks and that's a large sum for 1 day. One of my friends also called me for a party to his house on account of his birthday and I would have had a lot of fun there. Many things are coming to my melancholic mind today and I feel at this point of time that many people have taken advantage of me and now I resolve to put an end to this. Henceforth, I shall use influence, money(lol!!), intelligence and all means possible to get even. I would very much like to make a list of all things that are gong wrong in my life. More than easing myself, I'd be putting myself at danger in putting it in so public a blog. I will put up a list when the time is more convenient which should surely come within the August of next year.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Strange people live on Earth
It has been really difficult for me to make a decent conversation with people of late. When a person tells me something, there is a complex thought process in my mind about keeping myself interested in what he/she is saying. I try really hard but soon realize that I am not interested in it because it is basically very serious stuff that he/she is speaking about. Very relevant to the context, of course but rendered irrelevant by my presence as the listener. Sometimes people get together and discuss their work and how hectic it is and how they are fighting these challenges. I manage a smile, not as a sign of my understanding their situation but because, when the person was speaking, I thought about something really funny. But the other person thinks vice-versa which is good for both of us until I have to make a response, by which time I am lost for what I have to say next because I was really not listening all the while to what the person was saying. I end up saying "Hmmm.." or laughing again ( this is in case I get the feeling that the person was describing something sarcastic or funny).
"Hmmm..." is reserved for when I observe profundity in the speaker's expressions. Don't mistake me. I am a logical thinker and hence can deduce that I am a really strange person and a unique one at that and a happy one for which. Being such a person will make you bored because once people learn that there is very little use of speaking to you, statements like, "Hey, Did you see the new restaurant that opened on Cunningham Road?" or "Dude, my work's really boring" will no more be directed at you and nearly all the conversation that abounds in the sound waves today are about such things or the like. You might have observed a paradox in what I say when you point out to me that I have, in my previous statement mentioned that I feel bored when people stop directing their silly conversations at me.
Well, well, this is a complex thing to explain. I may not listen to what the speaker is saying, but it doesn't mean that I don’t like this act of them speaking to me. It is really strange (to you people) that I still want them to talk. There can only be a few possible explanations that people could make for this.
1. I feel human voice is music.
2. I like to ridicule people about their interest in trivial matters.
3. I like to make fun of facial expressions of the speaker.
It gives me immense pleasure to announce that it is not because of any of the reasons that I have listed out. It is because I enjoy attention and I guess no one has guessed that as the reason. It may actually happen that you have indeed guessed the right reason and not even thought of the three points that I have mentioned as what you people may think it is because of. This again shows that my thinking is not in the same "frequency" (If I can say so) as normal people.
But, let me tell you again that I am not abnormal.
You show a child, the script of a strange language and he laughs at the curves.
You make random sounds with your mouth and people around you will laugh.
Well, I am the same. I laugh at life so much, because it doesn't make sense to me. Everything seems disorderly and strange. Therefore, I take solace in orderly things like Mathematics and Science. Philosophy, though a matter of total conjecture (and hence disorderliness) still interests me. I do not know why this is. I myself don’t understand me. One of the reasons for this is because I strangely find myself amused that I used nearly all the personal pronouns (I, me and myself) in the same sentence, in my previous sentence. This discourse has totally mind-fucked me and I would prefer to end here and go eat my lunch. If the reader is anything like me, he sure will read the whole thing but pay attention to nothing.
"Hmmm..." is reserved for when I observe profundity in the speaker's expressions. Don't mistake me. I am a logical thinker and hence can deduce that I am a really strange person and a unique one at that and a happy one for which. Being such a person will make you bored because once people learn that there is very little use of speaking to you, statements like, "Hey, Did you see the new restaurant that opened on Cunningham Road?" or "Dude, my work's really boring" will no more be directed at you and nearly all the conversation that abounds in the sound waves today are about such things or the like. You might have observed a paradox in what I say when you point out to me that I have, in my previous statement mentioned that I feel bored when people stop directing their silly conversations at me.
Well, well, this is a complex thing to explain. I may not listen to what the speaker is saying, but it doesn't mean that I don’t like this act of them speaking to me. It is really strange (to you people) that I still want them to talk. There can only be a few possible explanations that people could make for this.
1. I feel human voice is music.
2. I like to ridicule people about their interest in trivial matters.
3. I like to make fun of facial expressions of the speaker.
It gives me immense pleasure to announce that it is not because of any of the reasons that I have listed out. It is because I enjoy attention and I guess no one has guessed that as the reason. It may actually happen that you have indeed guessed the right reason and not even thought of the three points that I have mentioned as what you people may think it is because of. This again shows that my thinking is not in the same "frequency" (If I can say so) as normal people.
But, let me tell you again that I am not abnormal.
You show a child, the script of a strange language and he laughs at the curves.
You make random sounds with your mouth and people around you will laugh.
Well, I am the same. I laugh at life so much, because it doesn't make sense to me. Everything seems disorderly and strange. Therefore, I take solace in orderly things like Mathematics and Science. Philosophy, though a matter of total conjecture (and hence disorderliness) still interests me. I do not know why this is. I myself don’t understand me. One of the reasons for this is because I strangely find myself amused that I used nearly all the personal pronouns (I, me and myself) in the same sentence, in my previous sentence. This discourse has totally mind-fucked me and I would prefer to end here and go eat my lunch. If the reader is anything like me, he sure will read the whole thing but pay attention to nothing.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Friends vs Strangers
Suppose now, that you need use your computer to do a certain job. At this time another person walks to you. He could be a friend or a stranger. If it is a stranger you may not move because you got the system first but if its a friend, he may make statements like - "Hey could you please let me use the comp for 5 mins. You continue after that." and you may as well oblige. To a stranger, you are not going to move even if he wants to take just a minute. What is the logic behind all this?
Take 2 cases
Case 1: Ok, now consider that you let your friend use the computer and assume here that you need an hour to finish your work. He will probably be done in 5 mins as he says.
So your friend now waits for only 5 mins to finish his work and you have to wait for 65mins(1hr of the time taken for you to finish the work + 5 mins of waiting time by which time your friend finishes).
The total time that is used by you and your friend together would be 65 + 5 = 70 mins.
Case 2: Now suppose that you insist that you finish before you let your friend use the computer. Then, you take your 60 mins to finish. Your friend waits all this while and then after you finish, he takes an additional 5 mins to get his work done, thus totally waiting 65 mins to complete his 5 min work.
Now total time used by both together would be 60 mins(for you) + 65 mins(for your friend) = 125 mins.
So, If you let him use the computer first, you end up saving (125-70) = 55 mins of time.
But if its a stranger, you may not give him the computer, thus you end up with the situation in case 2 where u don't care about how much time he has to wait. Your work is completed in 60 mins and thats ideal for you. If u opt for case 1, with the stranger, note that you would complete your work in 65 mins, which is 5 mins more. For case 2, though you finish the work by 60 mins, there's a lot of waste in time for the stranger and you probably don't care.
Next time, if someone requests you to just hold-on for a min, so that he could finish his work, just do it(even if its a stranger). You would be saving a lot of the nation's time.
Take 2 cases
Case 1: Ok, now consider that you let your friend use the computer and assume here that you need an hour to finish your work. He will probably be done in 5 mins as he says.
So your friend now waits for only 5 mins to finish his work and you have to wait for 65mins(1hr of the time taken for you to finish the work + 5 mins of waiting time by which time your friend finishes).
The total time that is used by you and your friend together would be 65 + 5 = 70 mins.
Case 2: Now suppose that you insist that you finish before you let your friend use the computer. Then, you take your 60 mins to finish. Your friend waits all this while and then after you finish, he takes an additional 5 mins to get his work done, thus totally waiting 65 mins to complete his 5 min work.
Now total time used by both together would be 60 mins(for you) + 65 mins(for your friend) = 125 mins.
So, If you let him use the computer first, you end up saving (125-70) = 55 mins of time.
But if its a stranger, you may not give him the computer, thus you end up with the situation in case 2 where u don't care about how much time he has to wait. Your work is completed in 60 mins and thats ideal for you. If u opt for case 1, with the stranger, note that you would complete your work in 65 mins, which is 5 mins more. For case 2, though you finish the work by 60 mins, there's a lot of waste in time for the stranger and you probably don't care.
Next time, if someone requests you to just hold-on for a min, so that he could finish his work, just do it(even if its a stranger). You would be saving a lot of the nation's time.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Human Brain
I was wondering whether there's a disease that creates pain artificially. The Human mind is the most complex object and a slight malfunction can create diseases such as depression, split personality, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Malfunctions have even created psychos and supermen. The traits of each brain are so varied - Some are overenthusiastic, some are dull and bored, intelligence varies in a very big range among people. Some like Mahatma Gandhi have enough power to say "Hey Ram" even while experiencing the pain of death and some like Don Corleone say "Life is beautiful" at their deathbed. Some of them fight wars for nations, though they know they will die any moment and some never give up while some of them are real big losers. All this happens because of certain parameters that vary in the anatomy of each individual brain. Likewise, I was wondering if there's a part of the human brain thats responsible for processing and sending out signals that create the sensation of pain and if there's a malfunction in this region, will the affected feel pain for no reason at all? Maybe feel the same pain that one feels while getting beaten even though there is no external pain- inducing agent. Does such a disease already exist? If its possible to pin-point the brain tissue responsible for this, is it also possible to suppress it such that no pain is felt even when damage is inflicted. I guess analgesics do this job petty well. The brain is weird. Now, don’t say that I am weird.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
ID Software
The dark dungeons of Doom1 have come back to haunt you again in ID Software's new Doom3. The monsters are bigger, better, meaner and scarier and as has been the ID tradition, they have far surpassed all expectations. When you look back into the days of Castle Wolfenstein, you could say that 3D first person shooter games have indeed come a long way in the arena of computer gaming. Castle Wolfenstein was by itself a revolution in the computer gaming industry with its concept of the FPS. Then came the DOOM series, which caused a great stir among the gaming circles. The UAC chambers, the exploding barrels of gunpowder, intelligent aiming, the new monsters and the poison pools enhanced gameplay to an extent never before thought possible. This was later follwed by Doom 2, and for once it felt that the rate of development of computer games was going to exceed the rate of development of the microprocessor.
All school kids got hooked onto this new game that signified the demise of the older 2D games such as commander keen, Bio-menace, prince, GP-Bike and Bricks. The era of computer games with mind-blowing graphics had just began. There were various firms that tried to cash-in on this opportunity, but games like Duke Nukem, Half-life and Hexen have by no means been able to keep up with the creative minds at ID. Just when you though that there could be no further improvements, came the quake series. Better graphics, an increased number of monsters with different weaknesses and huge levels designed to engross a mind for months together and the introduction of a wide range of guns to fit different situations now demanded more skill and creativity from the player. Quake 3 was another revolution. This time ID made Quake open-source and thanks to this, passionate gamers the world-over have written their own extensions and mods to the game. Another development here was the rise to popularity of techniques such as rocket jumping, strafe jumping circle jumping, plasma crawling - all used very extensively by the online gaming community. Mods such as defrag have created another area of interest for those ardent gamers. These modifications required a high degree of skill involved in the co-ordination of mouse movements and keyboard strokes. This game also brought the rail gun to the zenith of its popularity, where running around the levels without a railgun in hand was a passport to a sure and explosive death for the gamer.
Quake 3 was a game where all its bugs were exploited to the utmost degree. Strafe jumping started out as a bug, but no one has cared to correct it because of the popularity it brought to ID software. Strafe Jumping is still considered to be cheating in Half-life and many patches have been developed in an attempt to ban it. For me, Quake 3 has been the game of the decade, especially because playing it on the LAN brought forth all its excellent features. It could easily count as one of the wonders of the modern world. Some of the very important traits for an online gamer - aim, co-ordination, intelligence, alertness, timing and creativity were now called into action to an extent unfathomable and a slight mistake could result in a disastrous defeat which neccessitated an additional trait - perfection.
The recent Doom3 has again created the stir that is characteristic of any ID release. Here is the concept of a story-line which unfolds as the game progresses. You are called in as a marine on a facility in Mars and then things suddenly start going wrong. People begin vanishing and monsters appear as the gates of hell are opened. This time, the creators decided to add an element of fear and this they have been successful in doing. The strange voices caught on the marine's radio, the eerie laughter, sudden appearance of new monsters, noises of faraway growls of monsters and the dark rooms could any day give the opportunity for a person with a weak-heart to rest it forever. This would not be an easy death with fears of a similar hell awaiting them. The "Hell" level is the best level in the game. The discovery of the 2 PDAs with descriptions of the monsters and the fate of the people to whom these PDAs belonged sets the stage for a really scary time of gameplay. The pounding stone in this level, the cries of tortured souls, cages with deadbodies of the monsters and flowing pipes of flesh add a bizzare atmosphere to this level. The soul-cube at the end of this level is another unique addition to the previous versions. All this has ensured that Doom3 is another masterpiece from ID Software and I shall play this game for a few more years though I have already finished it about a year ago.
Now waiting for Quake 4 and Doom 4.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Journey
My home lay at the foothills of a beautiful mountain. When I was a kid and people used to point to the top of the mountain and say, "Look there!!, the summit lies above those clouds and there you will find heaven", I did not care or actually even understand what the fuss was all about. For me, heaven was where I lived. So many things to discover everyday.
When I grew up, I sat by the river and looked up to the top. I wondered what those clouds
concealed and what it is that attracts all people to the summit. I could not see the summit
and hence used my imagination. I painted pictures of glory and recognition. As I sat there
everyday and wondered, I also noticed that everyday many people would make a journey to the river-bank, just to gaze at the elusive mountain-top. I soon realized that all that lived in the village would come to the river and look for atleast an hour or two a day. This
strengthened my resolve to find out. So, with all the curious people, I set out to on a
trek. "Winter approaches in 5 months", they said. We need to reach there before the snow
falls.
..and thus my journey started. We were a party of 438 people and all started climbing. When we reached the first fork in the path, our party split. Some of them took the swampy path to the right because they had heard of the trees and fruits that grew there. I, along with a few of my friends went to the left because I liked waterfall and wildlife and ancient ruins.
Soon there were many more splits and finally I ended up with 91 of them who made the same decisions as me. The journey was painful because many a time we found ourselves in front of huge vertical rocks and had to retrace long kilometres. So many people I knew since childhood died of snake-bites or fell prey to wild animals. We had already made a lot of ground and no one desired to look back. 3 months had passed since I started my journey and it was already getting cold. The mountain was already covered with snow at the higher altitudes. All this did not bother me.
Sometimes, when there were lesser barricades to vision, I would look down at the river at the foothill and see burning fires and people celebrating. I could turn back any moment but did not want to because I felt the mountain-top enticing me towards it. Still, If I found a waterfall, I would bathe in it or pluck strange fruits from trees just to see how they
tasted. Though I wanted to reach the top, I was in no great hurry in-spite of the telltale
signs of harsh winter looming large. People around me would hurry but I took my time. I was not that slow because I knew quite a lot of people whom I had left behind. Some of us seemed to be in great hurry and would not stop, come what may. They left us behind. Seeing this, some of them hurried but not me, because I wanted to taste water from every cascade and eat every fruit and see every wild animal. Sometime, I would be tensed and move faster ignoring some personal favourites. But then, when the tension settled, I would be slow again.
After 4 months, me and 3 of my friends reached a tunnel and here I was slow again. As I went deeper, it became darker. I thought that this was because sunlight couldn't reach here but some of them knew that it was because of the fast-approaching winter and they kept this to themselves. I knew something was wrong, so I quickened up a bit. Then, finally I caught sight of the end of the tunnel - a bright white dot of light. Knowing that the end was near I slowed down again but my friends were quicker having learnt from previous mistakes. They left me behind.
As I walked alone, I realized that the bright light which was the exit got duller than
brighter as I walked towards it. I quickened up but it grew smaller and smaller now and when I reached it, the light was the same size as it was when I saw it....( I dont remember how many days ago it was that I saw it). The falling snow and the avalanches must have shut the exit. Right now, I am writing from inside this tunnel. Its pitch dark here and I cannot make out anything. I don't even know where the tunnel walls are because when I spread my arms, I can't touch it. It maybe just 5 feet to my left or a kilometre away.
I can see spots of light for 10 hrs everyday. Are they just small holes in a wall close by or are they large exits far away? I walk towards many of them today, but all were small, holes in the tunnel wall, through which the sun infiltrated into the darkness of the tunnel. I saw another light yesterday. This one was slightly brighter than the rest. So, as I am walking towards it, and my hopes are slightly high.
Will this be the end of the journey?
..Or is this another trick of the darkness in the cave where depth perception is almost negligible?
How far is this point?
Will I get out alive?
If I do get out, will I survive the winter cold?
Will I reach the summit and experience heaven for myself?
Is it really true that there is heaven at the summit or was it just some kind of an
unverified rumour?
It is really lonely in here. :(
When I grew up, I sat by the river and looked up to the top. I wondered what those clouds
concealed and what it is that attracts all people to the summit. I could not see the summit
and hence used my imagination. I painted pictures of glory and recognition. As I sat there
everyday and wondered, I also noticed that everyday many people would make a journey to the river-bank, just to gaze at the elusive mountain-top. I soon realized that all that lived in the village would come to the river and look for atleast an hour or two a day. This
strengthened my resolve to find out. So, with all the curious people, I set out to on a
trek. "Winter approaches in 5 months", they said. We need to reach there before the snow
falls.
..and thus my journey started. We were a party of 438 people and all started climbing. When we reached the first fork in the path, our party split. Some of them took the swampy path to the right because they had heard of the trees and fruits that grew there. I, along with a few of my friends went to the left because I liked waterfall and wildlife and ancient ruins.
Soon there were many more splits and finally I ended up with 91 of them who made the same decisions as me. The journey was painful because many a time we found ourselves in front of huge vertical rocks and had to retrace long kilometres. So many people I knew since childhood died of snake-bites or fell prey to wild animals. We had already made a lot of ground and no one desired to look back. 3 months had passed since I started my journey and it was already getting cold. The mountain was already covered with snow at the higher altitudes. All this did not bother me.
Sometimes, when there were lesser barricades to vision, I would look down at the river at the foothill and see burning fires and people celebrating. I could turn back any moment but did not want to because I felt the mountain-top enticing me towards it. Still, If I found a waterfall, I would bathe in it or pluck strange fruits from trees just to see how they
tasted. Though I wanted to reach the top, I was in no great hurry in-spite of the telltale
signs of harsh winter looming large. People around me would hurry but I took my time. I was not that slow because I knew quite a lot of people whom I had left behind. Some of us seemed to be in great hurry and would not stop, come what may. They left us behind. Seeing this, some of them hurried but not me, because I wanted to taste water from every cascade and eat every fruit and see every wild animal. Sometime, I would be tensed and move faster ignoring some personal favourites. But then, when the tension settled, I would be slow again.
After 4 months, me and 3 of my friends reached a tunnel and here I was slow again. As I went deeper, it became darker. I thought that this was because sunlight couldn't reach here but some of them knew that it was because of the fast-approaching winter and they kept this to themselves. I knew something was wrong, so I quickened up a bit. Then, finally I caught sight of the end of the tunnel - a bright white dot of light. Knowing that the end was near I slowed down again but my friends were quicker having learnt from previous mistakes. They left me behind.
As I walked alone, I realized that the bright light which was the exit got duller than
brighter as I walked towards it. I quickened up but it grew smaller and smaller now and when I reached it, the light was the same size as it was when I saw it....( I dont remember how many days ago it was that I saw it). The falling snow and the avalanches must have shut the exit. Right now, I am writing from inside this tunnel. Its pitch dark here and I cannot make out anything. I don't even know where the tunnel walls are because when I spread my arms, I can't touch it. It maybe just 5 feet to my left or a kilometre away.
I can see spots of light for 10 hrs everyday. Are they just small holes in a wall close by or are they large exits far away? I walk towards many of them today, but all were small, holes in the tunnel wall, through which the sun infiltrated into the darkness of the tunnel. I saw another light yesterday. This one was slightly brighter than the rest. So, as I am walking towards it, and my hopes are slightly high.
Will this be the end of the journey?
..Or is this another trick of the darkness in the cave where depth perception is almost negligible?
How far is this point?
Will I get out alive?
If I do get out, will I survive the winter cold?
Will I reach the summit and experience heaven for myself?
Is it really true that there is heaven at the summit or was it just some kind of an
unverified rumour?
It is really lonely in here. :(
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
She and He
She told him that day that she was tired of going to the movies and wanted to go to some other place. She said that from the top of the hill, overlooking the city, the view was breathtaking and the vehicles on the road looked like ants carrying torches from above. So he went to the stall and packed some snacks. They had enough to last a day on the hill.
While on the way to the summit, she switched on the DVD player in the car which played heavy metal music of the new band in town. He particularly disliked this genre of music and thus reached his finger to the player and switched it off. "Please, please" she pleaded. She was the definition of beauty and when she pleaded, he couldn't refuse. "OK", he said and switched it back on.
"Tell me", she said, "The gambling house you've started. Does it really give you happiness? Its not ethical you know."
"Why do you think that its unethical? It’s perfectly legal. If it wasn't I would be in prison
right now", he said as he lit a cigarette.
The car engines purred on as they traversed the desolate ghat section in the night. The night was so dark that it looked like a void ahead. When the car headlights fell on the road, it seemed as if the road was automatically forming itself in the car's path.
"Yeah?", she said sarcastically "Don’t you know that there have been so many cases filed
against you. You've just exploited a particular loophole in the law to get away from all
this."
"I'm not a criminal unless proved", he said as he took another deep puff of smoke.
"The Moral Gamer", which was so deceptively named was the only casino in the strict coastal city. All the previous ones were either shut down or had their managers arrested by the new dictatorial regime which labeled gambling as an illegal activity. This casino was an exception and it worked thus -
There were 10 "games" that you can play and each "game" required two people. To play a particular game, you had to pay an entrance fee, the amount varying for each of the different games in the casino. If you win the game, "The Moral Gamer" gave u a cash prize of double the amount you had paid and the loser got no refund. Basically the loser's money was transferred to the winner, which is exactly what happens in gambling but this transaction was done in a very different way, which made it really difficult for the city authorities to sue the casino in a court of law. The money given to the winner was given as a cash prize for winning the game and the loser's money was the fee for playing the game. If anyone wanted to play another game, he had to leave through the exit and come back through the entrance by paying an entrance fee again. Being the sole casino in the city, it was an instant success. The casino made all its money through the concerts that it arranged and the advertisement banners that it displayed.
"But you're not happy doing this, are you? Then why do it anyway? You know what the Gita says? The path to happiness and complete harmony lies in spirituality, not indulgence."
"I don’t give a rats ass about spirituality", he said. "The main point here is that I'm not
hurting anyone. Don’t you also know what the Gita says about this? When Arjuna refused to fight his kin in the battlefield, Lord Krishna Says that an action is always judged by its merit. Its always acceptable to kill, if its for the greater good."
The night was getting cold now and there was a steady breeze blowing. A little ahead in the distance, there was a line of cars parked and bright light shone. It was a park, that was
cradled in the scenic beauty of the ghats. It was like a gap carved into the mountain
wall. Imagine a birthday cake with a piece on its outer periphery cut away with a knife. This formation looked just like that except that this was natural. On one side of this formation there was a natural waterfall formed by a small stream trickling down from the top of the hill. Artificial lighting of various colours gave it a romantic feel.
"Want to stop here honey?", he asked, throwing out the cigarette stub and slowing down the car.
"No, I don’t think so. This place is so crowded today. Must be because of the holiday
tomorrow", she said casting a sideways glance at the place and added naughtily "Many people will stay here the entire night today, I guess."
He smiled as he shifted to a late 3rd gear.
"Yes..", she said again. "I don’t think you are causing any greater happiness. All the losers will be really sad, you know"
"But for every person who walks out sad, there is going to be a happy person who won. So doesn't that cancel out ?", he blurted a well-practiced reply.
"Yeah.. So where is the greater good coming into the picture honey, if there's no residual
happiness"
"What I meant to say was that I am not causing any great happiness or sadness. Just leaving the world as it is. So, actually I'm not doing any harm." He lit another cigarette.
"Ok..ok..", she carried on, "Lets look at it this way. Say A and B play and A won. Now A
uses this extra money he wins and plays against C and this time C wins. Don't you think that there are going to be two unhappy people now - A and B and just one happy person - C"
"Not exactly", he said. "Suppose that both A and B, play a game with a fee of 5 rupees each. If A wins he walks with 10 rupees and suppose now that he then plays a game with a fee of 10 rupees with C and loses. Now C has his 10 rupees. So B has lost 5 rupees and A also has effectively lost 5 rupees because out of the 10 rupees he loses to C, 5 was won from B.
Now A has lost 5
B has lost 5
C has gained 10.
So, A and B are half as unhappy each as C is happy. So when you add up their happiness and sadness, they cancel out." He concluded with the air of a lawyer.
She didn't look very impressed. "Darling, how could u quantify happiness with money units. That's exactly what is wrong with you. But still I love you and that is what is wrong with me", She joked.
She wrested the half-smoked cigarette out of his mouth with the excuse - "This is your 23rd for the day" and kissed him. She then threw the cigarette into the darkness of the forest where it fell among the bushes and looked like an orange star in the sky.
"Enough about me", he said recovering from the kiss. "Tell me. You've been to the summit before. Why were you here? With a guy?", he joked this time. He always wanted to have the last say in anything.
"That is why I tell you, you don’t pay attention when I'm talking about my job. You know the animal rights group I'm involved with ?"
"Yes". He accelerated the car to a 80kmph speed.
"Yeah...we were protesting against a new Ayurveda medicine. It’s supposed to cure headache and eye-sight problems which is ok but the catch was that an important ingredient of the medicine is deer fat. So we came to the summit and threw the medicine container down the hill to signify the beginning of our resistance. Today we have convinced so many people and they are all burning down the containers…. and do u know where?"
"Where ?"
"When I threw it from the top, it landed in a hay pit at the foot of the hill. That is where
all the people are now throwing their medicine.. and at 10 pm today, we set fire to the hay
and dispose the medicines permanently"
"Oh!" He said looking at his watch. "Its already 9:40. You will miss the last rites", he
said.
"You are too funny, you know.", she said laughing. "I can see it from the top of the hill."
"….. and, now I see it", he said keeping up the sarcastic tone. "That is the reason you wanted to come here today. Not to spend some happy time with me."
"No baby, there's a reason other than that. Have you forgotten that today is the day you
proposed to me in high school ? I want to celebrate this anniversary in a special way
today.", she said playfully raising her eyebrows and also added "We'll be alone there".
"hmmm..", he smiled. "Anyway, we'll reach in another half an hour. We just have a few more curves to take."
"Look..honey", she screamed as she pointed to the drop at the right. "They've already
started the fire. Everything's going according to plan. Yay!!"
He glanced outside the window. Down below, he saw a big fire emanating from the location she had pointed to. "I am happy for you", and he seemed to be too.
After about 20 minutes, they reached the summit and he stopped the car beside the viewpoint.
Both of them got out of the car and walked out hand-in-hand to the edge and both of them
peered down at the burning spectacle. It was a big fire that burned in about a 200m radius
and all the cars were moving away from it. The fire must have burnt for a while now as
everyone had decided to return back to their homes.
The night was quiet now except for the sound of the wind ruffling the leaves when she grabbed hold of him and they kissed for about 10 minutes.
There seemed to be tears in his eyes.
"Honey, I'll be going to Beunos Aires the day after tomorrow for negotiating a contract
to open another casino there and I'll miss u dearly during that time. Is there any chance you could come too?"
"No", she looked dejected. "My organization needs me. These are turbulent times with many people threatening my workers. I need to be here."
She then walked back to the edge to take a final look at the medicinal bonfire and spread
her arms wide feeling the strong wind. "I feel like jumping off", she said all of a sudden
and put one leg into the air and looked down. He ran to the edge standing next to her and said, "Don’t do that. You are scaring me." and held her arms. She looked at him and he saw tears in her eyes.
"Its all right. I'll be back in a week", he said.
"Good bye honey!! I'll wait for you", she said and reached into his pocket for the packet
of cigarettes.
"What are you doing?"
"I want to smoke"
"No way, It’s injurious to your health"
"Come on you keep doing it all the time. Lemme try just this once. Please! Please!"
"All right", he said reluctantly and with his back to the breeze, "I'll light it for you".
..and while he was lighting the cigarete, she violently threw herself on him, kissing him
and so hard did she that he lost balance and slipped off the edge of the cliff. In the last
moment, he grasped a protrusion with both his hands and lay there hanging from the cliff. He looked down and saw the fire still burning.
She calmly picked up the cigarette and lighter from the ground and lit the cigarette.
"What the hell are you doing? Give me your hand", he screamed in fright.
She smiled as she walked back from the edge and found a rock to sit on.
He struggled to climb back up again but he slipped. There were now deep cuts in his palm, which was bleeding.
"Ha Ha. You know? Sooner or later, you are going to fall into the fire and no one will even find your burnt body. That pit will be closed tomorrow.", she was now enjoying the act of smoking.
"Don’t do this, please. People are soon going to find out and you'll end up in jail. Don’t do this."
"Darling, did u forget that I have your e-mail password. I spent the whole of yesterday
writing your suicide note from your account. I have mailed it to myself."
"What!!!!????????", No please. Give me your hand"
"I want your casino."
There was disbelief in his eyes. "You were just arguing about my casino not conforming to the law of greater good."
"I did agree with your argument"
"So, why do you want the casino, then ?". There was now both disbelief and pain as he lost more blood from his bleeding palm.
"Yes, I agree with you to that that for every man who walks away sad there is another person who is happy. But you have forgotten one thing. ME!! If I own "The Moral Gamer" now, I'll be happy and so what do you have now. An extra happy person. and what was it that the Gita said honey? It’s ok to kill for the greater good. You told me so yourself."
"But what about me? I am not going to be happy about this. Doesn't that cancel out your
happiness!!"
"That is why my dear, I am making you a non-entity in the Universe by eliminating you
completely"
He could say no more. He was still hanging on. She decided that she had talked enough and went over to the edge, "Goodbye", she said and gave him a hard kick on his face. He was already at the limit of his stamina trying to hold on for dear life. This impact was too much for him and he lost his grip and fell right down into the blazing fire at the foothill.
She threw her cigarette stub, walked back to the car, revved up the engine and drove calmly back in the night.
As she drove past the electronic advertisement banner of "The Moral Gamer" that day, the display appropriately changed to a perfume advertisement with the punch line - "Beware the female of the species".
While on the way to the summit, she switched on the DVD player in the car which played heavy metal music of the new band in town. He particularly disliked this genre of music and thus reached his finger to the player and switched it off. "Please, please" she pleaded. She was the definition of beauty and when she pleaded, he couldn't refuse. "OK", he said and switched it back on.
"Tell me", she said, "The gambling house you've started. Does it really give you happiness? Its not ethical you know."
"Why do you think that its unethical? It’s perfectly legal. If it wasn't I would be in prison
right now", he said as he lit a cigarette.
The car engines purred on as they traversed the desolate ghat section in the night. The night was so dark that it looked like a void ahead. When the car headlights fell on the road, it seemed as if the road was automatically forming itself in the car's path.
"Yeah?", she said sarcastically "Don’t you know that there have been so many cases filed
against you. You've just exploited a particular loophole in the law to get away from all
this."
"I'm not a criminal unless proved", he said as he took another deep puff of smoke.
"The Moral Gamer", which was so deceptively named was the only casino in the strict coastal city. All the previous ones were either shut down or had their managers arrested by the new dictatorial regime which labeled gambling as an illegal activity. This casino was an exception and it worked thus -
There were 10 "games" that you can play and each "game" required two people. To play a particular game, you had to pay an entrance fee, the amount varying for each of the different games in the casino. If you win the game, "The Moral Gamer" gave u a cash prize of double the amount you had paid and the loser got no refund. Basically the loser's money was transferred to the winner, which is exactly what happens in gambling but this transaction was done in a very different way, which made it really difficult for the city authorities to sue the casino in a court of law. The money given to the winner was given as a cash prize for winning the game and the loser's money was the fee for playing the game. If anyone wanted to play another game, he had to leave through the exit and come back through the entrance by paying an entrance fee again. Being the sole casino in the city, it was an instant success. The casino made all its money through the concerts that it arranged and the advertisement banners that it displayed.
"But you're not happy doing this, are you? Then why do it anyway? You know what the Gita says? The path to happiness and complete harmony lies in spirituality, not indulgence."
"I don’t give a rats ass about spirituality", he said. "The main point here is that I'm not
hurting anyone. Don’t you also know what the Gita says about this? When Arjuna refused to fight his kin in the battlefield, Lord Krishna Says that an action is always judged by its merit. Its always acceptable to kill, if its for the greater good."
The night was getting cold now and there was a steady breeze blowing. A little ahead in the distance, there was a line of cars parked and bright light shone. It was a park, that was
cradled in the scenic beauty of the ghats. It was like a gap carved into the mountain
wall. Imagine a birthday cake with a piece on its outer periphery cut away with a knife. This formation looked just like that except that this was natural. On one side of this formation there was a natural waterfall formed by a small stream trickling down from the top of the hill. Artificial lighting of various colours gave it a romantic feel.
"Want to stop here honey?", he asked, throwing out the cigarette stub and slowing down the car.
"No, I don’t think so. This place is so crowded today. Must be because of the holiday
tomorrow", she said casting a sideways glance at the place and added naughtily "Many people will stay here the entire night today, I guess."
He smiled as he shifted to a late 3rd gear.
"Yes..", she said again. "I don’t think you are causing any greater happiness. All the losers will be really sad, you know"
"But for every person who walks out sad, there is going to be a happy person who won. So doesn't that cancel out ?", he blurted a well-practiced reply.
"Yeah.. So where is the greater good coming into the picture honey, if there's no residual
happiness"
"What I meant to say was that I am not causing any great happiness or sadness. Just leaving the world as it is. So, actually I'm not doing any harm." He lit another cigarette.
"Ok..ok..", she carried on, "Lets look at it this way. Say A and B play and A won. Now A
uses this extra money he wins and plays against C and this time C wins. Don't you think that there are going to be two unhappy people now - A and B and just one happy person - C"
"Not exactly", he said. "Suppose that both A and B, play a game with a fee of 5 rupees each. If A wins he walks with 10 rupees and suppose now that he then plays a game with a fee of 10 rupees with C and loses. Now C has his 10 rupees. So B has lost 5 rupees and A also has effectively lost 5 rupees because out of the 10 rupees he loses to C, 5 was won from B.
Now A has lost 5
B has lost 5
C has gained 10.
So, A and B are half as unhappy each as C is happy. So when you add up their happiness and sadness, they cancel out." He concluded with the air of a lawyer.
She didn't look very impressed. "Darling, how could u quantify happiness with money units. That's exactly what is wrong with you. But still I love you and that is what is wrong with me", She joked.
She wrested the half-smoked cigarette out of his mouth with the excuse - "This is your 23rd for the day" and kissed him. She then threw the cigarette into the darkness of the forest where it fell among the bushes and looked like an orange star in the sky.
"Enough about me", he said recovering from the kiss. "Tell me. You've been to the summit before. Why were you here? With a guy?", he joked this time. He always wanted to have the last say in anything.
"That is why I tell you, you don’t pay attention when I'm talking about my job. You know the animal rights group I'm involved with ?"
"Yes". He accelerated the car to a 80kmph speed.
"Yeah...we were protesting against a new Ayurveda medicine. It’s supposed to cure headache and eye-sight problems which is ok but the catch was that an important ingredient of the medicine is deer fat. So we came to the summit and threw the medicine container down the hill to signify the beginning of our resistance. Today we have convinced so many people and they are all burning down the containers…. and do u know where?"
"Where ?"
"When I threw it from the top, it landed in a hay pit at the foot of the hill. That is where
all the people are now throwing their medicine.. and at 10 pm today, we set fire to the hay
and dispose the medicines permanently"
"Oh!" He said looking at his watch. "Its already 9:40. You will miss the last rites", he
said.
"You are too funny, you know.", she said laughing. "I can see it from the top of the hill."
"….. and, now I see it", he said keeping up the sarcastic tone. "That is the reason you wanted to come here today. Not to spend some happy time with me."
"No baby, there's a reason other than that. Have you forgotten that today is the day you
proposed to me in high school ? I want to celebrate this anniversary in a special way
today.", she said playfully raising her eyebrows and also added "We'll be alone there".
"hmmm..", he smiled. "Anyway, we'll reach in another half an hour. We just have a few more curves to take."
"Look..honey", she screamed as she pointed to the drop at the right. "They've already
started the fire. Everything's going according to plan. Yay!!"
He glanced outside the window. Down below, he saw a big fire emanating from the location she had pointed to. "I am happy for you", and he seemed to be too.
After about 20 minutes, they reached the summit and he stopped the car beside the viewpoint.
Both of them got out of the car and walked out hand-in-hand to the edge and both of them
peered down at the burning spectacle. It was a big fire that burned in about a 200m radius
and all the cars were moving away from it. The fire must have burnt for a while now as
everyone had decided to return back to their homes.
The night was quiet now except for the sound of the wind ruffling the leaves when she grabbed hold of him and they kissed for about 10 minutes.
There seemed to be tears in his eyes.
"Honey, I'll be going to Beunos Aires the day after tomorrow for negotiating a contract
to open another casino there and I'll miss u dearly during that time. Is there any chance you could come too?"
"No", she looked dejected. "My organization needs me. These are turbulent times with many people threatening my workers. I need to be here."
She then walked back to the edge to take a final look at the medicinal bonfire and spread
her arms wide feeling the strong wind. "I feel like jumping off", she said all of a sudden
and put one leg into the air and looked down. He ran to the edge standing next to her and said, "Don’t do that. You are scaring me." and held her arms. She looked at him and he saw tears in her eyes.
"Its all right. I'll be back in a week", he said.
"Good bye honey!! I'll wait for you", she said and reached into his pocket for the packet
of cigarettes.
"What are you doing?"
"I want to smoke"
"No way, It’s injurious to your health"
"Come on you keep doing it all the time. Lemme try just this once. Please! Please!"
"All right", he said reluctantly and with his back to the breeze, "I'll light it for you".
..and while he was lighting the cigarete, she violently threw herself on him, kissing him
and so hard did she that he lost balance and slipped off the edge of the cliff. In the last
moment, he grasped a protrusion with both his hands and lay there hanging from the cliff. He looked down and saw the fire still burning.
She calmly picked up the cigarette and lighter from the ground and lit the cigarette.
"What the hell are you doing? Give me your hand", he screamed in fright.
She smiled as she walked back from the edge and found a rock to sit on.
He struggled to climb back up again but he slipped. There were now deep cuts in his palm, which was bleeding.
"Ha Ha. You know? Sooner or later, you are going to fall into the fire and no one will even find your burnt body. That pit will be closed tomorrow.", she was now enjoying the act of smoking.
"Don’t do this, please. People are soon going to find out and you'll end up in jail. Don’t do this."
"Darling, did u forget that I have your e-mail password. I spent the whole of yesterday
writing your suicide note from your account. I have mailed it to myself."
"What!!!!????????", No please. Give me your hand"
"I want your casino."
There was disbelief in his eyes. "You were just arguing about my casino not conforming to the law of greater good."
"I did agree with your argument"
"So, why do you want the casino, then ?". There was now both disbelief and pain as he lost more blood from his bleeding palm.
"Yes, I agree with you to that that for every man who walks away sad there is another person who is happy. But you have forgotten one thing. ME!! If I own "The Moral Gamer" now, I'll be happy and so what do you have now. An extra happy person. and what was it that the Gita said honey? It’s ok to kill for the greater good. You told me so yourself."
"But what about me? I am not going to be happy about this. Doesn't that cancel out your
happiness!!"
"That is why my dear, I am making you a non-entity in the Universe by eliminating you
completely"
He could say no more. He was still hanging on. She decided that she had talked enough and went over to the edge, "Goodbye", she said and gave him a hard kick on his face. He was already at the limit of his stamina trying to hold on for dear life. This impact was too much for him and he lost his grip and fell right down into the blazing fire at the foothill.
She threw her cigarette stub, walked back to the car, revved up the engine and drove calmly back in the night.
As she drove past the electronic advertisement banner of "The Moral Gamer" that day, the display appropriately changed to a perfume advertisement with the punch line - "Beware the female of the species".
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Universe, God, Us and the Big Scheme of Things.
As I see it, the Universe today is a result of two opposing processes. One process forms the basis for the 2nd law of thermodynamics - A process i spontaneous only if the Entropy (randomness) of the system increases as it progresses. Since the birth of the Universe (the big bang), it has been expanding. The solar systems, stars and galaxies are all effectively moving away from each other in the space-time fabric. The other opposing process is the beautiful phenomenon of evolution. In this process order comes from disorder. Atoms and molecules come together to form "meaningful" combinations. Useless permutations die out.
The Universe is nothing but a set of rules. These are the rules, that we discover as scientific laws. One simple example is the law of gravity, which says that two bodies of mass attract each other. Now, imagine a Universe without gravity. The randomness of the Universe would have been even more as there would not be any means of keeping two masses together. So, gravity is here for a reason. The Universe desperately wants to keep matter together even as it expands. Thus, to sum it up - the Universe has created rules for itself. Whatever we see and don't see around us is a result of these rules. Our scientists are constantly discovering these scientific laws and this is a positive step. Even life and its struggle for survival is not because life wants to live but it is because the Universe wants life to live. Don’t get me wrong here. No doubt we want to live but this want has risen from within our mind and our mind was made by the Universe through the process of evolution. This is the reason we live today and think. The laws of the Universe have interacted with each other and created everything that is there today.
Now, I’d like to take the next step and say that our thought process is nothing but the
Universe's desire to understand itself. Yes- we voluntarily think but as I've mentioned
before, the Universe and its laws have evolved us to such a state where we could think. As we evolve, we become more complex beings, with an advanced capacity for understanding. We would continuously discover more scientific laws until we know the entire Universe. This is the ultimate stage of our evolution and the goal of the Universe - complete understanding. At this stage, we become GOD. We cease to exist as single entities and we form a unit. This is very similar to the concept of the human body, where individual cells (living being by themselves), make up the entire unit.
I do not know for sure when this stage would be reached or if the Universe is even capable of it, given its desire to "move away" (Is spirituality the counter??) but according to me, if this stage is reached, it would be the ideal state where the meaning of the Universe would be clear. I would like to restate it as -
"A time in the distant future when each particle in the Universe is part of a meaningful, conscious whole that has completely understood itself."
This is when we become the Universe, we become the GOD.
The Universe is nothing but a set of rules. These are the rules, that we discover as scientific laws. One simple example is the law of gravity, which says that two bodies of mass attract each other. Now, imagine a Universe without gravity. The randomness of the Universe would have been even more as there would not be any means of keeping two masses together. So, gravity is here for a reason. The Universe desperately wants to keep matter together even as it expands. Thus, to sum it up - the Universe has created rules for itself. Whatever we see and don't see around us is a result of these rules. Our scientists are constantly discovering these scientific laws and this is a positive step. Even life and its struggle for survival is not because life wants to live but it is because the Universe wants life to live. Don’t get me wrong here. No doubt we want to live but this want has risen from within our mind and our mind was made by the Universe through the process of evolution. This is the reason we live today and think. The laws of the Universe have interacted with each other and created everything that is there today.
Now, I’d like to take the next step and say that our thought process is nothing but the
Universe's desire to understand itself. Yes- we voluntarily think but as I've mentioned
before, the Universe and its laws have evolved us to such a state where we could think. As we evolve, we become more complex beings, with an advanced capacity for understanding. We would continuously discover more scientific laws until we know the entire Universe. This is the ultimate stage of our evolution and the goal of the Universe - complete understanding. At this stage, we become GOD. We cease to exist as single entities and we form a unit. This is very similar to the concept of the human body, where individual cells (living being by themselves), make up the entire unit.
I do not know for sure when this stage would be reached or if the Universe is even capable of it, given its desire to "move away" (Is spirituality the counter??) but according to me, if this stage is reached, it would be the ideal state where the meaning of the Universe would be clear. I would like to restate it as -
"A time in the distant future when each particle in the Universe is part of a meaningful, conscious whole that has completely understood itself."
This is when we become the Universe, we become the GOD.
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