What should you do when you feel that you have been treated unfairly?
Many times, we encounter situations in life, where we believe that we have been treated unfairly. Subsequently, this leads to a conflict in your mind - Should I be vengeful and do some harm to the entity who has treated me unfairly or should I just forgive? Will forgiving not turn me into a pushover?
These are complex questions. Seeing the answer clearly to such questions is not easy and after all, we are human and we do have an ego which is hurt. I would think that when such situations arise, it is best to take a deep breath and not give in to what the mind is thinking. The beginning of control is to let go of all your thoughts and start focusing on the present. Try to focus all your senses into the moment and absorb all the information, so that the mind is occupied in processing this information and there is little mind-space to start thinking about the unfairness of the current situation.
Eventually, this will calm the mind, clear the emotional fog created by the ego and help you see the situation more clearly. Sometimes, it is human to feel that you will take an impulsive action and you compel yourself to believe that you are thinking clearly. More often than not, you are not thinking clearly.
Now, you refocus your mind on what your reaction should be. Calmly, you should weigh the merits and demerits of your action based on your priorities and principles. Forgiving a person for a wrong is not about being a doormat, it is more about your power over your mind and the situation. Forgiving also does not mean forgetting. It means that you will take all steps necessary to understand the situation and why it happened. After this, you will learn how to not have this happen again in the future.
Thinking about revenge is a waste of your resources as you are spending your mind on the wrong problem.
All this said, it is not an easy framework of action to practice, as contexts of the situations vary. Sometimes, there is very little time to react. What you have lost in an unfair situation could also be of varying import. So what I would do is this - Be aware of the framework that I have created for these situations and do my best in adhering to it, given the situation with all its constraints.
Many times, we encounter situations in life, where we believe that we have been treated unfairly. Subsequently, this leads to a conflict in your mind - Should I be vengeful and do some harm to the entity who has treated me unfairly or should I just forgive? Will forgiving not turn me into a pushover?
These are complex questions. Seeing the answer clearly to such questions is not easy and after all, we are human and we do have an ego which is hurt. I would think that when such situations arise, it is best to take a deep breath and not give in to what the mind is thinking. The beginning of control is to let go of all your thoughts and start focusing on the present. Try to focus all your senses into the moment and absorb all the information, so that the mind is occupied in processing this information and there is little mind-space to start thinking about the unfairness of the current situation.
Eventually, this will calm the mind, clear the emotional fog created by the ego and help you see the situation more clearly. Sometimes, it is human to feel that you will take an impulsive action and you compel yourself to believe that you are thinking clearly. More often than not, you are not thinking clearly.
Now, you refocus your mind on what your reaction should be. Calmly, you should weigh the merits and demerits of your action based on your priorities and principles. Forgiving a person for a wrong is not about being a doormat, it is more about your power over your mind and the situation. Forgiving also does not mean forgetting. It means that you will take all steps necessary to understand the situation and why it happened. After this, you will learn how to not have this happen again in the future.
Thinking about revenge is a waste of your resources as you are spending your mind on the wrong problem.
All this said, it is not an easy framework of action to practice, as contexts of the situations vary. Sometimes, there is very little time to react. What you have lost in an unfair situation could also be of varying import. So what I would do is this - Be aware of the framework that I have created for these situations and do my best in adhering to it, given the situation with all its constraints.
